Thursday, October 26, 2006

If someone on TV said it, it must be true

I wish I could make political decisions in a partisan vacuum. I really do. There are times when I strongly believe something, and there are times when honestly I could go either way*, and it's those latter times when douchebag conservatives manage to swoop in and completely turn me against their point of view by taking radicalized stances.

Like this stem-call issue in Missouri. Should stem-cells be funded and protected by the government? I don't know. I'm not unsympathetic to the argument that stem-cell experimentation is better left to the private sector. And I’ll entertain the argument that your tax dollars shouldn’t be spent funding something you think is immoral. That’s a stupid argument, because then the DoD would have half its current operating budget**, but I’ll entertain it.

But then here come the crazies, watch out for the crazies, please mind your head around the crazies. There's a big to-do on YouTube right now about the TV ads concerning the stem-cell amendment in Missouri. Michael J Fox made one, a bunch of other dudes who need descriptives after their names (ie, Patricia Heaton, from Everybody Loves Raymond) followed:

Now, if you look to your left, you'll see a pantheon of wacko conservative comments from YouTube users. Here are some of the highlights. Read them over, and then ask yourself if it isn't worth killing some babies who haven't made it past the petri dish stage just to stick it to these people:

“Wow! I love it! Anyone with a brain realizes that Prop 2 was a licence to clone humans. A true ‘Clonus Horror’ or ‘The Island’ scenario brought to life. Missourians don't let the blood of innocents stain your hands, vote NO to Prop 2.”

“Michael J Fox is an actor, he is faking his illness so he can get on TV more. Lety me ask you this, if somebody hs parkinsons what are the odds an actor would get it ... it is his job to pretend he has the desease and the scientists pay him for his work so the ggrants they are applying for seem more worthy.”

“5 celebrities against 1. Talent Wins. Missouri wins. Goodnight, Democrats.”

That last was one of my favs. I know what you’re thinking: how could it beat "Michael J Fox is faking his illness,” right? But come on. The more celebrities you roll out, the more valid your cause is? I would think that in an age where we harp on how Hollywood is chock-full of liberals, the “My argument has more celebrities who support it than yours” line of reasoning is one conservatives would be wise to avoid.

This, of course, brings us to the real issue. Do any of the people in this video have extensive medical or legal training? They don’t? Then WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY DOING PONTIFICATING ON THE MEDICAL AND LEGAL RAMIFICATIONS OF STEM-CELL LEGISLATION? I particularly enjoyed seeing Jeff Suppan, Kurt Warner, and Mike Sweeney making the rounds…pro athletes being of course well-known for their intellectual prowess and nuanced grasp of complex moral issues. What’s that, Jeff? “Amendment 2 claims it bans human cloning…but in the 2,000 words you won’t read, it makes cloning a constitutional right.” I gotta say, trying to convince people to your side by pointing out they’re too lazy to actually READ the thing they’re voting on probably isn’t the winningest strategy.

And hey! It’s the dude who played Jesus! I don’t really remember his name and certainly can’t pronounce it, but if Jesus Christ thinks Amendment 2 is bad then I probably should, too.

Politics may stop at the water's edge, but Missouri is on dry land.

* BRUNO: He might get asked about Title IX.
C.J.: Why?
BRUNO: Ritchie mentioned yesterday it was worth reexamining, so they'll ask him for a reaction. You may want to talk to Josh for first-thoughts.
C.J.: What are yours?
BRUNO: On Title IX?
C.J.: Yeah.
BRUNO: I have none. I'm indifferent.
C.J.: You can't be indifferent.
BRUNO: I have to be. I have only so much RAM in my head. I have to prioritize. I have to throw some things overboard, so I've chosen, for instance, not to care whether or not Purdue has a fencing team.

** TOBY: I don't know where you get the idea that taxpayers shouldn't have to pay for anything of which they disapprove. Lots of 'em don't like tanks. Even more don't like Congress.


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