Monday, October 16, 2006

Party hearty? More like party hardly

Anybody who knows me knows I do not like my neighbors. I do not like them, Sam I am; I do not like them when they're loud, I do not like them in a crowd. The first year I lived here there were these three girls who lived next to me. Quiet as deaf, tongueless churchmice, you never heard a peep out of them. Then these people moved in. For starters, they apparently can't read, since they tend to throw parties in violation of our lease agreement, which says in big bold letters NO PARTIES. Also, one of them always walks around in a fedora hat. I don't mind fedora hats, but I think it gets a little ridiculous when a person consistently goes that much out of his way to be a unique snowflake.

Over the weekend they came back to the apartment late with about fifteen people (see previous observation concerning the acceptability of party-centered social events). By itself, I wouldn't mind it. They're clearly undergrads. When I was an undergrad, I liked having people over and yelling over each other late at night, too. But the thing is, if you want to live the dorm lifestyle, live in a dorm! Don't move into a building where there are people with kids and jobs that require them to wear shirts with collars.*

The big thing, though, is just that I'm so disappointed in them. Why? They came back to the apartment to party at 11 pm. Who the hell comes BACK to party at 11? When I was in college, 11 was when you LEFT to go party, and you didn't return until 2:30 or 3. These must be the kind of people who show up at an 8 o'clock party at 8:03. So lame. I bet these kids go to Hamline.

* Dangling modifier alert! The jobs require them to wear shirts with collars, not the kids.

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