Sunday, December 17, 2006

Stalker, TR*

Here's something interesting I've learned over the past couple days: it's not technically stalking if you don't have the intent to intimidate. So if your intent is merely to express your undying if unrequited love, you're okay. Ditto for making sure that if you can't have her, no one can. It turns out all those years I was worried for naught.

* Texas Rapist.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Two front teeth

You know what I want for Christmas? I'm not a particular fan of Hanity and Colmes, I don't watch it that often--just a couple stray clips on YouTube. Nevertheless, all I want for Christmas--even though this would probably make the show even more unbearable, as Sean Hannity's something of a blowhard and the show's already a testament to the politico maxim that whoever shouts the loudest the shrillest the longest must also be the most correct*--but all I want for Christmas is for Alan Colmes , for the love of God, to locate his dick. Alan, if you reading this, it'll be located somewhere near your thigh region. In case you should happen upon it.

* "He accused the Queen of treason. Nowadays, when a point of justice is obscure and difficult, each side hires lawyers to argue it out. In those days the upper classes hired champions to fight it out--which came to the same thing." --TH White, The Once and Future King

Like I was watching a clip with Michelle Malkin...who, by the way, is a total fox, her ability to speak notwithstanding. I only point this out because every time I see Ann Coulter on Leno, for example, I have to hear Jay** kiss her ass about how attractive she is. No, she really isn't. And she should be. She's a leggy blonde. Yet she exudes no sexuality. How is that possible? How can a leggy blonde so completely fail to be attractive? My sex drive doesn't know what to believe in anymore. Ann Coulter is an aberration of nature.

** Amazing a person with a chin that big can still get his head so far up someone's ass.

Anyway, I was watching this clip, and Michelle was going on about how Henry Waxman is like a "kid in the candy store" at the prospect of all the investigations he's going to get to conduct, and what's Colmes response? "Ah, come on, Michelle, you don't like candy?" Wow. Zinger. You really hit that one out of the ballpark, didn't you, Aly-C?

One final point. What's up with all these people making the Meet the Press rounds complaining about how investigations aren't productive because we need to look forward and not dwell on the past? In other parts of the world, that's known as "accountability." This is like a murderer saying, "Look, I already murdered her, and a trial isn't going to change that. We need to move forward, not live in the past."

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Jack Bauer Law, Section 230 - You Only Think I'm Hurting You

I love this clip. He's like an abusive husband:

Monday, December 11, 2006

Some thoughts on studying...

Bart: Why does Danger Dog mean more to me than school or church?
Cartoonist: Because those things suck.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

I have the power!

He-Man is awesome. I love He-Man. Not so much now, but when I was growing up...He-Man was king. The best part of living in the age of the Internet is that things like YouTube can offer you gems like this:



Things I love about this intro:

1. He-Man punches us. Right in the face.
2. A buff guy in a pink shirt transforms into a scantily-clad bronzed version of himself = gay enough. The fact that his secret powers are "fabulous" = priceless.
3. He-Man's inability to talk without a reverberating echo. "Masters of the Univerrsssseee!"
4. The theme music. Why don't they make theme music like this anymore? It's so kick-ass. Seriously, I want them to play this song at my funeral as they carry my casket down the aisle. And at in wedding. In fact, I want to pay someone with a big boombox to play it every time I enter a room.

Did you know that originally the Masters of the Universe were evil? It's true. Check it out:

Monday, December 04, 2006

Dela-who-ty?

Scandal! The law school is all atwitter with the hiring of Robert Delahunty - who, for those of you who don't know, wrote the famed Bush torture memo with John Yoo, stating the President wasn't required to follow the Geneva Convention in the War on Terror. Petitions are everywhere. Petitions on the left denouncing him. And now a petition on the right denouncing the denouncers. To whomever wrote the counter-petition: I'd be more receptive to it if you hadn't written it like a Congressional Resolution.

WHEREAS I really could care less about 1Ls,

AFFIRMING that such lack of concern includes who teaches them Con Law,

ACKNOWLEDGING the crunch of exam time makes me even less concerned about such things generally,

RECOGNIZING I myself was taught by a right-winger conservative who is now a Dean,

I resent any attempt to posture over this issue.

So sign, sign away. I think it would be sort of funny if people started signing with fake signatures, like Mickey Mouse, 1L. I also think, for all the scandal, at least it's nice to have a celebrity at the law school. At least we've got something to draw some national attention here. Lately I've been wishing I went to Michigan, because it seems like nobody is particularly impressed by Minnesota Law School...in the layman's world, at least. Some high-profile faculty might help change that.

I could go either way on the Delahunty issue. On the one hand, I thought as high-minded intellectuals we were supposed to have respect for the opposing viewpoint. In fact, it seems to me Delahunty and Yoo were doing exactly what we're all taught to do as lawyers: argue the side most effective to our client. Lisa Simpson says: You can't create a monster and then whine when he stomps on a few buildings.

On the other hand, one of the things I've been pissed about with the legal profession is that they don't seem to take it seriously. They treat it as interesting theoretical problems instead of decisions that have serious and direct impacts on other people's lives. The torture memo is perhaps one such example.

Mostly, though, I'm just keeping my head down till May. I just gotta get outta this prison cell, one day I'm gonna be free.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Yes, but where's Waldo?

I stole this from one of my friend's myspace bulletins. Apparently 74 bands are hidden inside:



Here are some of the ones I've found so far...

Scissor Sisters
Sex Pistols
Fall Out Boy
Smashing Pumpkins
Guns and Roses
Talking Heads
White Snake
White Zombie
Led Zeppelin
B-52s
Gorillazs
Nine Inch Nails
Matchbox 20
Rolling Stones
Cowboy Junkies
Alice in Chains
Radio Head
The Beach Boys
Dead Prez
50 Cent
Iron Maiden
The Police
The Postal Service

You wouldn't believe how long it took me to figure out the flying eagles were just The Eagles...