Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Buck the Fuckeyes

I didn't really want to blog during my vacation, but I have to say something about last night's game. The BCS game. The Bull-Crap-Shit game. Ohio State v. Florida. I wasn't looking forward to this game to begin with, what with me having to root for Ohio State and all. I had to root for Ohio State. I wanted Ohio State to crush Florida, so that everyone could see that Michigan held up better against the undisputed #1 team and deserved to go to the finals for a rematch. Instead, I got to watch Ohio get slammed. Buck the Fuckeyes, indeed.

First of all, let's get a couple things straight. Florida beat OSU 41-14, but they already had them at 34-14 at the half. They only scored one touchdown in the entire second half. That's not so impressive.

Second, quotes like this are such bullshit: "'Honestly, we've played a lot better teams than them,' Florida defensive end Jarvis Moss said. 'I could name four or five teams in the SEC that could probably compete with them and play the same type of game we did against them.'" Yeah, yeah, the SEC is so much better than the Big Ten, the SEC is God's gift to college football (if not necessarily His gift to academia). Go buck yourself. The BCS sort of reminds me of law school exams. You could be awesome at Constitutional Law, for example, but if you have an off-day on the day of the exam and get a C, you're branded as a Con Law moron for the rest of your days. I'm not saying Ohio State's dismal performance should all be dismissed as an off day - champions show up to play - but clearly OSU did not play the OSU game we've seen all year.

We saw a reverse example of this last night. The Florida kicker - I can't remember his name - was 4-for-13 all season in field goals, but he nailed his first two for 40 yards right down the center.

Also, if Florida is so much better than OSU, how come they couldn't contain Ted Ginn long enough to prevent him from scoring in the first 16 seconds of the game? I hate to use a Lord of the Rings reference when talking about college football, but he was like Legolas on that return, or the Ginger Bread Man; weaving this way, bobbing that. You can't catch me, I'm Ted Ginn Jr...until I hurt my foot.

Mostly, though, where the hell was Troy Smith? I don't know who that guy was with the #10 jersey throwing the football, but it wasn't Troy Smith. It's too bad he didn't bother to show up for the game, because then he would have made it such a game..or at least he would have made a completion. You don't need the Heisman Trophy to know that Troy Smith was the undisputed best player this year in college football, but last night he played like Chad Henne. Tim Tebow made better throws than him.

A final note. I found a certain irony in John McCain being the Grand Marshall or whatever he was. Here he was, the presumptive Republican frontrunner for the 2008 Presidential election, marshalling a game between the flagship schools for the two most critical swing states in the past two elections. West Wing couldn't have done it better.


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