I'll Garden your Olive
I hate Olive Garden commercials. You know the ones. They always feature some clean-cut diners engaging in what can only be described as pretty banal conversation. Something like, "So what looks good?" "Everything!" Wow. What a crack team of writers. These commercials actually make me NOT want to go to Olive Garden, since apparently only boring people go there. I wanna be like Carrie Bradshaw. I wanna eat where all the hip, cool, "it" people eat. In other words, I want to be Eurotrash.
There was one commercial in particular I disliked, but I haven't seen it in a while. It basically boiled down to: "My cousin Vinnie came over from Sicily, so we took him to the Olive Garden for a taste of the Old Country." I've eaten at the Olive Garden, and I've eaten in the Old Country, and my recollection is the two experiences aren't particularly congruent.
The worst part of the Olive Garden commercials, however, is their motto: "When you're here, you're family." Really? My family doesn't charge me money whenever I eat at their place. They don't make me wait 15 minutes for a table. When I'm there, I'm family? Maybe an estranged one.