Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Nobody wants to come to your party

You know one thing I dislike? Themed parties. Western-themed parties. 80s-themed parties. I really don’t see the point of them. If you find parties so dull that you need to start coming up with gimmicks, maybe you’re going to too many of them. Maybe it’s time you found something else to occasionally occupy your Saturday night with. Me, I’ve taken up embroidery. Here are some themes I particularly dislike:

Gender Bender: Because it’s a stone-cold fact that there’s nothing funnier than a man dressed up like a woman.

Pimps and Hos: Because today’s modern woman doesn’t already get enough excuses to dress like a slut.

Foam Party: All the fun of contracting an STD, none of the intercourse.

The one exception is Halloween parties. Halloween parties are okay in my book. Granted, they meet some of the criteria complained about above (nothing funnier than a dude in woman's clothing, girls don't have enough excuses to dress like sluts). But come on! It's Halloween! Halloween parties are just the natural extension - the natural evolution - of your childhood. As a kid you trick-or-treated, as a high schooler you went to Halloween dances (or did you?), and as a 20-something you attend Halloween-themed house parties. I'm not sure what you do after that. Take your own kids trick-or-treating I guess, so the cycle can begin anew. Now there's something truly scary.


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