Saturday, September 22, 2007

Oedipus Sex

My mother said something sort of disturbing the other day. No, really disturbing. Are you ready for it? We were talking about a girl I had a crush on in high school, and my mom told me she had always thought the girl sort of looked like her. Wow. You need to stop talking. Now. Word of advice to all mothers who may or may not read my blog: never tell your child that his high school crush looks or ever did look like you. Nobody wants to here that. Keep that to yourself, even if it's true. Let me rephrase that. ESPECIALLY if it's true. Even if it's NOT true, you should probably keep that in the vault. If I had a fantasy about...I don't know...La Toya Jackson (who, if you don't know, looks very little like my mom) and my mom said, "You know, I think I look a little like La Toya Jackson, don't you?"...that's it. Game over. Fantasy ended.

The only person a guy wants to hear his girlfriend looks like is maybe a celebrity. "Oh, she looks so much like..." I don't know "...Maria Sharapova." Even then, it's probably not a good idea. Too much emotional baggage that comes along with certain celebrities. Hillary Duff. Ashlee Simpson. I could go on. Nobody wants to hear his girlfriend looks like Ashlee Simpson, even post-nose job. Nobody wants to date a no-talent hack.

On a completely unrelated note: does anyone else think it's sort of odd that there would be TWO terrible-looking romantic comedies in the same year with the name "Chuck" in the title? I do.

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