Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Thank you for coming to my birthday!

Before I begin...as a follow-up to Sunday's post, I learned yesterday (thank you, Colbert Report) that Congress actually took the time to censure* MoveOn.Org for the "Petraeus/Betray Us" poster. Seriously? Seriously. Isn't that time that would have been better spent not withdrawing our troops? I thought the ad was oh-so-very not productive, but I didn't think it deserved Congressional floor time, either. It just supports my belief that MoveOn.Org does a better job of hindering the political process than promoting it (although their voter registration efforts in '04 deserve commendation). Seems to me all they did with this one was end up giving fuel for the Republican fire. I know what you're thinking. The Republicans are going to fuel their fire whether liberals give them fuel or not, so why not take the opportunity to feel morally superior? Meh. Sometimes I feel like our national agenda is being dictated by slightly-less mature versions of myself. That's not a good thing. I am, after all, only a bitter, smart-ass 25-year-old. Wait, did I say 25? Because...

Today is my birthday. Happy Birthday? Thanks! I turn 26 today. There's not much to say about it. Going to get some Indian food, open some presents. Maybe Marie Antoinette will let me eat cake. When I was in high school I had "planned" to get married by 27 and have kids by 30, and I sort of realized today that the initial goal probably isn't going to happen now (not with that attitude it isn't). Whatever. No biggie. What's the line from Pirates of the Caribbean? They were more like guidelines, anyway? In my defense, I wasn't really trying that hard. Is that really in my defense? "I didn't achieve a life goal, but in my defense, I was pretty lazy going about it." I can't worry about that right now. It's my birthday! And I just wanna celebrate...

* Behold the wonders of the Congressional censure, the most astounding piece of legislation known to (Wo)Man! How can something be both so remarkably powerful and yet so incredibly worthless at the same time, you may wonder? I'd argue it's more worthless than powerful, but it certainly plays a little bit for both teams.

What's that you say? Didn't West Wing do a bit on this? Funny you should ask. If you'll direct your attention to the front of the class...

JORDAN: It's a non-binding resolution. Do you know what that means?
LEO: No, could you tell me, 'cause I've really started to take an interest in government lately.
JORDAN: Do you know how much force and effect it has?
LEO: Jordan...
JORDAN: None. No force and effect. The following is a sampling of non-binding joint resolutions from the 106th Congress:
LEO:I have a meeting.
JORDAN: A resolution in support of Ohio's state motto. A resolution fostering friendship and cooperation with the people of Mongolia.
LEO: I have a meeting.
JORDAN: A resolution recognizing the contributions of Bristol, Tennessee, to the development of country music.
LEO: I'm sorry, I have a budget meeting.
JORDAN: A resolution in support of Little League baseball.
LEO: Jordan...
JORDAN: A resolution recognizing...
LEO: This isn't that! This is 535 Congressmen and Senators standing up and saying the
President lied and should be ashamed of himself. And this is us standing up and saying you're right. This would be the first time in history a President has been censured. Congress isn't talk radio. It's the seat of democracy, their opinion matters and their condemnation doesn't have to come with handcuffs to be devastating to this President. That is the force and effect and it's not going to happen because of me. I have a budget meeting, Jordan...
JORDAN: A resolution remembering the life of George Washington, 'cause there was a chance we were going to forget who he was.
LEO: Look...
JORDAN" "What's that tall thing at the end of the mall?" "I don't know, a monument to somebody? Where are we again? "
LEO: Jordan...
JORDAN: No. The opinion of Congress matters? Yes. And they're rattling it off every
day on television.

This birthday post was extra-long!


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