Sunday, October 21, 2007

Aragorn says: "There is always hope!"

Here are some more phrases I don't understand. Yipee!

Hopeless Romantic: I don’t think people understand what the phrase “hopeless romantic” should mean. Urban Dictionary, the secondary font of all knowledge (after [begin genuflection here] Wikipedia), defines a hopeless romantic as:

This person is in love with love. They believe in fairy tales and love. They're not to be confused as stalkers or creepy because that's not what a hopeless romantic is. All hopeless romantics are idealists, the sentimental dreamers, the imaginative and the fanciful when you get to know them. They often live with rose colored glasses on. They make love look like an art form with all the romantic things they do for their special someone.

Hmm. That doesn’t sound very hopeless to me. When I think of a stereotypically hopeless romantic I think of Charlotte York, when the etymological fact is I should really be thinking of Young Werther. A hopeless romantic should be, by definition, one without hope. He should be depressed, despondent, distraught. Bitter. He should be angry. Feel the anger. Channel it. It can make you powerful!

I guess a better phrase might be "hopelessly romantic," as in, there is no hope that she will ever not be a romantic (hooray for double negatives, I shoulda been an English major).* But why would you hope for that? Romance is good. Meg Ryan taught me that.

* Particularly when I rock the run-on sentence, too.

The Old College Try: Let me tell you something. I went to college, and college kids are lazy as fuck. They’re really neither particularly hardworking nor experimental. Unless it’s a new drug or sex position, they probably won’t even try it. So why would I give something the old college try? Answer: I wouldn’t. Because then I wouldn’t be trying. Or maybe I already am...not.

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