Thursday, October 25, 2007

Everyone hail to the Pumpkin Song

Anyway. This weekend is Halloween. Everybody scream! I’ve already talked about how Halloween parties are basically the most awesome of all themed parties. So instead I want to talk about how difficult it is to find a kick-ass Halloween costume when you wear glasses. I bet you normal people never think about that. But it’s true. First of all, any masked costume is out of the question. Batman? I don’t think so. Ninja Turtle? Try again. The other problem is, you really can’t wear a period costume. Pirates didn’t have glasses. Neither did Roman soldiers. I suppose I could go as Ben Franklin or something, but now let’s turn to point number 3:

I believe Halloween costumes should be cheap. Sure, I can afford a nice one, especially now that I’m totally loaded (…?) but I feel sort of ridiculous spending more than $20 on something I’m going to wear once in my life. So some ingenuity is required, because you're a girl on a budget. And I’ve seen the innovation that results and/or is necessitated by cheap costumes. Example: one of my friends covered herself in black paint, grabbed her iPod, and went as one of the iPod commercial dancers. I think that’s pretty clever. But hands down the best Halloween costume I’ve ever seen was last year. One of my friend’s boyfriend got a bunch of plastic beer cups and taped them to himself in the appropriate pattern, and went as a beer pong table. I think that’s the greatest costume ever. Brilliant and cheap. She’s a lucky woman to date a man so fundamentally clever and yet also so frugal.

So anyway, this year I’m going as Hiro Nakamura, from Heroes. I bought a samurai sword and am gonna rock my huge sexy specs from high school. Hopefully people will get it. It would probably work better if I was Asian. Or if people actually watched Heroes. But I’m sort of in a corner here. There aren’t many cheap, bespeckled costumes available. It was between Hiro or buying a pirate hook for my hand and going as Buster Bluth. And Hiro is much cooler. He bends time AND space! There’s always next year to be Buster, when it will no doubt be even less topical.


Blogger swamisays said...

Hahaha. I like the "Anyways" at the beginning. I used to have the same conudnrum, however, they have these new things called contact lenses...Jokes aside (nerd) you really can't wear masks because then your glasses fog up and you walk directly into a tree because it's dark and you ruin your skeleton costume (ahhh to be 7 again). But what you can do is go as Egon. He wears glasses and he's white. The costume will run you 39 dollars at any halloween store but it's worth it. I got mine like 4 years ago and wore it twice, so it's kind of like spending 20 dollars on it two years in a row. Anyways, there's even a zipper pocket so you don't lose your id when you stumble out of the bar.

7:17 PM  
Blogger swamisays said...

there's also this which I am sure you are well aware of.

7:19 PM  
Blogger Law Revue said...

Is the Egon costume just the jumpsuit, or does it include the proton pack? The reason I ask is because I wanted one of those plastic proton packs SO BAD back in the 80s and my parents wouldn't buy me one, so I assume they were somewhat expensive. Hard to believe you can get it all for $40.00.

10:00 PM  
Blogger swamisays said...

I feel your pain. My mom would never get me the proton pack either even though my best friend had one. She did however go for the much less expensive Ghost Trap, which was the thing they'd shove out under the ghost and then step on a pedal and it would open up and suck in the ghost. It was actually pretty cool, it has a long tube connected to the pedal which was pretty much just a hollow peice of rubber that acted like an air pump and the pressure opened the trap. I used to use to to catch bees during lunch.

10:27 AM  

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