Monday, November 26, 2007

Heroes sucks balls

Okay, I was going to write about something completely different, but Heroes has just got me so pissed right now. What a lame, lame show. About the only thing lamer than Heroes right now is griping about its chronic lameness on your blog.

First of all, why has Monica been captured? She's a superhero, she can kick butt...and if she can't, her muscle-mimicking ass should have watched a Bruce Lee movie before sneaking into a house run by drug runners and gangstas.

Second of all, why are Peter and Hiro fighting? Couldn't they just have taken five minutes to use WORDS to explain their situation to each other? Would that really have been so difficult?

The reason this pisses me off is that Heroes could be such a great show, but is in fact a consistently terrible one due to the weaknesses of its writers. This, I suppose, will serve as a nice segue to something I've been thinking about for a while now, which is the Hollywood writers' strike. Blah blah blah, I understand what they're saying, but at the end of the day I'd feel a lot more sympathetic to the members of the WGA if they weren't so clearly mediocre at their jobs. It's ridiculous how replaceable these people are. I know about twenty people who would become TV writers in a second if the opportunity presented itself. And they probably wouldn't do a better job, but they certainly wouldn't, in the aggregate, do a worse one. As Ron Rifkin says in L.A. Confidential, "So what if some homo actor is dead? Boys, girls, ten of them step off the bus to L.A. every day."

Of course, as Russel Crowe replies, "Now, I know you think you're the A-number one hotshot. Well, here's the juice: if I take you out, there'll be ten more lawyers to take your place tomorrow. They just won't come on the bus, that's all." I believe that qualifies as a zing.


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