I’m currently in the process of buying a new pair of jeans. This is a more difficult process than you’d think…or than it should be, really. Anybody who read my old blog knows that about two years ago I was in the market for new jeans. Well, I managed to finally find a couple pairs I liked at Gap…but of course Gap doesn’t sell either that style or those washes anymore. Why would they? It would make my life too easy, and then there wouldn’t any reason to perpetually hire new designers to produce shit nobody likes. I often feel like the fashion industry is a unique trade insofar as it seems to exist to please itself, not its customers. I feel like fashion designers are more intent on creating a product they find challenging and interesting than creating a product that meets the desires of the buying public at large.
Anyway, like I said, anybody who read my old blog knows that about two years ago I was in the market for new jeans. At the time I actually thought I wanted slim-fit jeans, and lo and behold! two years later slim-fit jeans are all the rage. Everybody sells them now. It turns out I actually don’t like them; I guess I was a fool for thinking the fashion companies would design slim-fit jeans for men that DIDN’T completely crush my testicles, but that’s my punishment for being hung like a jackhammer (?). A similar problem actually happened to me when I was jean-shopping five years ago: relaxed fit and bootcut were all the rage, when all I wanted were some straight-fit jeans, and once again, lo and behold! everybody has straight-fit jeans now. Basically, I’ve learned that whatever I’m looking for in a jean will become the popular item 1-2 years later.
Given the above premise, you’re probably wondering what will be the future of jeans 1-2 years from now. I can tell you, because I’m endowed with that power.
Light-Fade Jeans: I kid you not, I have been to every major clothes outlet (Abercrombie, Gap, Banana Republic, J Crew, American Eagle) and none of them sell light-fade jeans anymore. Gap even had the audacity to post a sign that said something to the effect that dark-wash jeans were the only fashion now. "Get in the fashion! Stock up on your dark-wash jeans!" Do I like dark jeans? Not really. I certainly don’t like them enough to buy them at the complete exclusion of all other colors.
Button-fly: I have a whole rant in my head about the button-fly I’m just gonna skip. Suffice it to say I truly don’t understand this phenomenon, and I can’t wait for it to go away. I accept neither the cons of the zipper fly nor the pros of the button fly as sufficient justification for the massive inconvenience the button-fly imposes upon me at the urinal. I found a poll on the Internet where 60% of respondent said they prefer zipper, while only 15% preferred button (the remaining 25% were normal people who didn’t give a crap (aka "undecided")). Clearly the button-fly is an unwanted imposition from the fashion bourgeoisie.
So keep your eyes open for these changing developments in the jean market.