Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Milk, milk, lemonade...

Today I got a drug-urine test for work (as in, a urine test to see if I was taking drugs, not a test to see if I was taking a drug called "urine"). And I don't want to brag, because I know it's not a competition, but I filled that baby up perfectly at the line. No more; no less; no excess; 'cause that's just how I roll. Give me a test to do, and I'll do that shit perfectly. Multiple choice? The answer's always C. Essay? Here comes the bullshitter. Drug test? Let the fools have their urine.

I found the really weird part to be handing a cup of my delicious urine to the tech or whatever you call her after I was done. She takes me to the bathroom, I go in with the cup, do my sinful business, come out, and hand her the Final Product. And it wasn't quite like a college hookup, but something about watching this woman handle my urine...I felt we were sharing a level of intimacy that is just awkward between two strangers.


Post a Comment

<< Home