Sunday, December 30, 2007

Looks like someone just Greyzed your Anatomy

Could somebody please tell me the moment at which ABC became the channel for women? Because it definitely happened, apparently when I wasn't looking. Bravo has been renowned for a while now - what with its numerous make-over shows, Boy Meets Boy, and Project Runway - as the station for gay people, which makes me sad only insofar as I liked it a lot better when it was renown as the station for West Wing reruns.

But Lifetime be damned, ABC is taking the crown as the station for women. Check out Exhibit A: Grey's Anatomy. For a long time I was reluctant to judge what looked like a pretty stupid show because I had never sat through an actual episode, but last week I manned up and did the deed. Boy, was MadTV right: this is a show written by women, for women, and common sense or good taste be damned. I think the one caveat to that should be that it's actually written by women, for stupid women...or at least women who don't know better. This show is like the equivalent of a boy band for women 25 and over: handsome men with carefully-crafted facial hair swear undying oaths of fidelity, nevermind how cliche or unthoughtful they might be. "I will never hurt you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you." Wow. You almost sounded convincing there. Want to try again?

I also caught a glimpse of the Grey's spin-off Private Practice, which promises to be as inane as its progenitor.

Now along comes this new show Cashmere Mafia, sporting the ambiguous Lucy Liu. The taglines promise a show about four smart, remarkably successful yet equally fabulous women who "rely on each other" for their success or some other such "girlfriends forever!" bullshit. Are you kidding me? No, really. Are you fucking kidding me? First of all, I think I would have enjoyed this show five years ago when it was called Sex and the City. Second of all, here's a little fun fact: truly successful women are usually too busy being successful to have time to be fabulous.

But this clip is my favorite part:

"If you break her heart, we'll break every bone in your body"? Is that a promise? If I was that dude, I'd definitely be concerned. No, really. Since women have been famed for centuries for both their violent tendencies and physical prowess, that sort of comment should most certainly be indulged with the humoring smile he gives it. If Grey's Anatomy is the 25+ woman's version of boy bands, Cashmere Mafia promises to be the 25+ women's version of girl power.

Fact: If this show doesn't completely tank, it'll be a broadcasted testimony to how stupid the average American woman truly is.


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