Wednesday, January 02, 2008

A condom by any other name

Here's a question: why would anybody in their right mind name their athletic team the "Trojans?" You know what the Trojans are most famous for? Getting their asses kicked. Go team.

Speaking of Trojans...the BBC had an article on Monday about how 60% of Indian men can't adequately fill out a regular-sized condom. You probably think this is the part of the conversation where I make a bunch of Indian penis jokes. But you're wrong. This is actually going to be a semi-serious discussion.

The BBC had a similar article within the past year discussing how 50% of Chinese men also can't fill out a standard condom. Here's a suggestion. If the majority of men in the two most populated countries in the world can't fit the standard condom, maybe we're making them too big. Just a thought.

Condoms crack me up, and here's why. You can't buy a small-sized condom. At least, I've never seen one. Why would I have? Who wants to walk up to the counter with a box of teeny condoms? Do they come with a douche? Because you're basically a girl.

No, instead we have regular condoms, and then we begin moving up the scale. Large. XL. Jumbo. Megatron. Ginormous. But here's a tip I learned in physics class: size is relative. If the smallest condom you can buy is a regular - congratulations, you're buying a small condom. Calling it something else doesn't change that.


Anonymous Mike said...

And does it even make sense as a condom brand, let alone a sports team? Didn't the Trojan Horse famously breach a defensive barrier and then issue forth an army of little guys? Isn't this exactly what a condom is designed to prevent? Or if it refers to the Trojan Man, the ones being violated by the deceptive horse... it just gets weird. I'm confused.

4:28 PM  

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