Wednesday, January 23, 2008

The Fuzzyboots Corollary

I have an embarrassing confession to make. I find girls in furry boots sexy. I'm not proud of it, but it's the truth. I know I shouldn't. I KNOW. But I just can't help myself. Which, I guess, is sort of the nature of sexual attraction generally, furry boots or no.

In an astounding act of recreational lawyering, I have crafted for myself this defense:

Girls who wear furry boots probably aren't the kind of girl I'd want to have a real serious conversation with. So it makes sense that my brain turns to thoughts of the only enjoyable thing one COULD do with them. See The West Wing for more info:

SAM: Who’s your boyfriend?
MALLORY: I don’t think...
SAM: What’s his name?
MALLORY: His name is Richard Andrewchuk.
SAM: There’s a hockey player named Richard Andrewchuk.
MALLORY: Well, unless there’s two of them...
SAM: You’re dating Richard Andrewchuk?
MALLORY: Yes, and we’re having quite a lot of sex.
SAM: I think you’d almost have to.
MALLORY: What does that mean?
SAM: What do you and Richard Andrewchuk have to talk about?
MALLORY: He happens to be a terribly bright guy.
SAM: Well good, because he’s a really bad hockey player.

I should be clear that I don't mean ALL furry boots. It's not "it is furry; therefore it is sexy." In fact, I spent about two minutes on Google trying to find a picture of a good example for what I was talking about, and I failed. Everything that came up under "fuzzy" and "furry" was just sad. They didn't so much say "sexy" as "I stole these from a sports mascot's locker." The best I could find was something like these; but without the lady, you don't get the full effect.


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