Notes from the Workplace, Part Whatever The Hell We're On Now
All right. That's it. I've had enough. So I'm just going to come out and say it: Women of the World, stop wearing boots and skirts to work. I can't focus with that shit around me all day. When I see a girl in boots and a skirt, all I can think about is banging her. It doesn't even particularly matter if she's attractive. If she's in boots and a skirt, I just need to throw her legs over my shoulders and plough her like Cadmus with the dragon's teeth. I'm like a dog with an old bone: I don't particularly want it, but I have to have it.
So, young professional woman, don't become reduced to a walking vindication of the otherwise antiquated notion that women shouldn't be allowed in the workplace because they'll just distract the menfolk. DO NOT WEAR BOOTS TO YOUR JOB. THEY ARE NOT APPROPRIATE FOR WORK.