Sorry So Sorry
Swami asked: What did I do to cause my mother to call me a shithead? Well, I thought it over. And I've decided I'm not going to tell you, if only out of the fear that you might agree with her. I will say it had to do with her cancer. And that we got her pathology results back yesterday, and the cancer doesn't appear to be systemic, and the doctors think they got all of the tumor in the lumpectomy, so it looks like this experience will end up being as "painless" as a cancer diagnosis can be. If I actually WAS a shithead, this would be the part where I'd say: So she should probably get over it.
I will also tell you that, despite being a shithead, I spent the rest of the week trying to find my mother an "I'm Sorry" card. When I was in the third grade I once walked home from baseball practice instead of waiting for my mother to pick me up, thus incurring her wrath (she had to spend the afternoon driving around Oak Park, concerned my picture would soon be on the side of a milk carton near you). When she eventually found me she felt bad about being pissed, so she gave me my first apology card. It had one rabbit lowering a carrot down a hole to another rabbit. I'm not sure if I still have it, but I remember it well. Before then, I didn't even know they made apology cards.
So I've spent this week trying to find my own apology card. I'm surprised at how difficult a task this is. They have cards for the stupidest shit. Thinking of You. Just for Laughs. There are even cards labeled "Hello." Was there really a need for Hello cards? Were there really so many people having difficulty expressing "hello"?
There are Get Well cards, Condolences cards, Sympathy cards. In short, there are many ways to let someone know you're feeling sorry for them. But not so many for letting someone know YOU are sorry. I guess I could just send her this song.