Friday, February 29, 2008

Twixt the Neck and the Waist

At work everyone is required to wear an ID badge. I like wearing an ID badge. It makes me feel very important. Like I'm working at a secret government installation in the desert, or on The List at an exclusive New York nightclub. Except instead of snorting ecstasy and having gratuitous sex, I'm sitting at a desk all day doing legal research.

On the back of my badge in tiny print it says: "This card must be worn between the neck and waist while on [Employer] property." Some of the people who work in my building aren't very good lawyers, though, and wear it on their belt. This is not between the neck and waist, people. AT the waist is not BETWEEN the waist. I've written up a mathematical formula to help explain this:

Neck > Badge > Waist Neck ≥ Badge ≥ Waist

Yay math.


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