Sunday, May 25, 2008

The Double-Edged Sword

George Costanza once said he only believed in God for the bad things. Jed Bartlet called God "vindictive" and a "feckless thug." I'm not sure I entirely agree with their sentiments, but I do agree that God seems to suffer from an occasional mean streak.

People usually blame God for the obvious things. Plagues. Natural disasters. But I like to think God works with a little more nuance; that he's just as likely to use a scalpel as a cudgel. I like to think God prefers a little creativity when it comes to ways to punish us, like Stephen King or the guys who keep making those Saw movies.

Example: Acne. I think acne is a punishment from God. Not a big punishment. But as someone who grew up with acne, I can tell you that it does feel like you're being penalized for something when everyone else is walking around with faces so squeaky-clean while yours looks like the pimply equivalent of a cum shot. Oh Lord, why have You forsaken me?

The other day I woke up wondering if maybe my attachment to Dream Girl wasn't some sort of inventive punishment from God. If it is, it's very creative. He took something that should have been positive in my life and turned it against me; something that should have made me whole instead wears away at my insides. It's a double-edged sword. I can appreciate the creativity, even if the sadism is a bit much.

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