Friday, July 18, 2008

Please Note: I Also Am Not That Into You

Did You Know: I can't read your blog if you privacy-protect it? It's true!

I used to feel bad for people who would say they didn't believe in marriage. In college aforementioned gay friend told me he didn't care about the gay marriage debate because he didn't plan on getting married, which sort of missed the point of it all, but whatever. It also raises an interesting quandry. Some ask, If a tree falls in the woods and no one hears it, does it make a sound? Likewise, if there's a social injustice being perpetrated and victim doesn't give a shit, is it really a social injustice?

Anyway, I don't think I said anything at the time, but I definitely remember thinking how sad that was for him. Because, really, if you aren't drawn to the whole "marriage" thing, it probably means you've never (at least at some point) really been in love. It's hard for me to conceptualize True Love without that fundamental yearning. He'd never thought to himself, "This one person, for the rest of my life? Yes fucking PLEASE!" For my gay friend, never having had that (and considering all the people he's slept with, too!)...well, that's the real injustice.

But recently I've started to wonder whether I believe in marriage anymore. Other than D.G., there's nobody in this life I've even come close to wanting to spend five consecutive years with, let alone the vast yet slowly dwindling remainder of my natural life. Forever, after all, can be an awfully long time.

I know the difference between wanting to marry someone and not wanting to marry someone. So this, once again, is the part of the conversation where I say: Sometimes, I'm just not that into you. Doesn't mean I don't care about you, doesn't mean we didn't have some good times. It certainly doesn't mean there's somehow something "wrong" with you. Many months ago I said that Love was like Truth: hard and eternal, an undeniable fact. So, too, with this. If I'm not that into you, it's neither good, nor bad: it's just hard, undeniable Fact.

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