Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Unless That Delightful Billy Crystal Is Involved

Does anyone else just want to punch Bill Kristol in the face? Something about the poor guy just makes me want to punch him. Right. In the face. I think it's great the NYT has offered an olive branch to opposing views by giving him a column every Monday, but really. Everytime I read it I'm so remarkably unimpressed. This guy got two degrees from Harvard? This guy was the first domino that collapsed the Clinton health care plan? This guy has the supposed vision for the New American Century?

I just don't see it.

I can imagine a young Bill Kristol now: big glasses, buck teeth, hunched forward as he scuttles across campus with a load of books in his arms. Would the pretty girl like to go to the prom with him? No! He'll show her. One day he'll be a powerful figure in American politics. He'll be the shadowy man behind the curtain, pulling all the right strings. He'll be the guy behind the guy behind the guy. Yes, one day he'll show us all.

No, Bill. No matter how hard you try, the pretty girl will never go out with you.

It's like Bill O'Reilly. Someone needs to tell Bill that no matter how loud he rants his father is never going to tell him he's proud of him. Then they should hug him Good Will Hunting-style.

And then make sure he doesn't punch THEM in the face.


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