Five Fashion Tips Those Wall-Street Fat Cats Don't Want You To Know.
Today was Dress-Up Day at work. Some bigwigs from the London office were coming through. I hate Dress-Up Day. You should pay me more if you want me to wear a tie just to please some corporate fat-cats. I specifically took this job so I WOULDN'T have to dress up.
But here's the thing about Dress-Up Day. I just feel so damn important. Would somebody put a motherfucking TPS report in my hands ASAP? Today I was goofing off during lunch and a woman passing by gave me a dirty look. Um, excuse me? Did you not notice I am wearing a tie right now? My shirt is tucked in. I must have a lot of responsibility.
Let's head down to Caribou. Hello, ladies. Don't mind me whilst I check my email on my Smart Phone. I could be expecting an important message from Johnson on the Tokyo deal. Or maybe just an inappropriately humorous (humorously inappropriate?) picture forwarded by my mother. Who knows? You certainly have no way of finding out.
My new pick-up line: "Hi, I wear a tie to work!"