Grow Up, Or Rather Down
Dude, sometimes I am so old. Three times this week my friend called me and asked if I wanted to go out drinking. Each time I declined. Yet today as I was strolling through my neighborhood past the likes of Pottery Barn and Restoration Hardware I was thinking to myself how nice it would be to have a girlfriend so we could go furniture shopping together. WTF is wrong with me? Something is. This is not normal.
I know a lot of people who seem to spend their lives wishing they could be 20 again, which is sort of sad for them. But I've spent most of my life waiting impatiently to be 35, which is equally sad for me. When I graduated from college my mother quipped, "You're so lucky, you have your whole life ahead of you." I don't want my life ahead of me. I want a portion of it behind me. I want a nice house and nice car and annual European vacations in four-star hotels. Wouldn't that be nice?
I feel what Jonathan Safran Foer refers to as "the sadness of having options" in Everything Is Illuminated. I suppose the sadness is not truly in having them, but in electing to decline them.